As a grandparent or extended family member, you’ve likely noticed how much time kids spend on screens these days. But how do you know when normal digital activity crosses into concerning territory? Here are the signals that shouldn’t be ignored.
We’ve all seen it – the child who barely looks up from their phone during family gatherings, the teenager who seems irritable after being asked to put their device away, or the youngster who chooses screen time over activities they once enjoyed. As someone who cares deeply about the children in your life, you might wonder: is this just normal for today’s kids, or is it something to worry about?
While technology offers incredible benefits for learning and connection, there’s a point where digital habits can affect a child’s wellbeing. As a grandparent or extended family member, you bring a valuable perspective – you can often notice changes in behavior that busy parents might miss in the day-to-day rush.
Why Your Observations Matter
Your unique vantage point as a grandparent or extended family member gives you certain advantages:
- You often see children less frequently, making changes in behavior more noticeable
- You have life experience that helps you distinguish between normal development and concerning patterns
- You may have more uninterrupted time with the child during visits or caregiving
- You bring a different generational perspective on social interaction and development
These qualities make you an important observer in a child’s life. Your insights, when shared respectfully with parents, can help identify issues early before they become more serious problems.
Physical Warning Signs to Watch For
1. Sleep Disruptions
Modern screens emit blue light that can interfere with natural sleep cycles. Warning signs include:
- Dark circles under the eyes
- Difficulty waking up in the morning
- Falling asleep during daytime activities
- Mentioning they were up late on their devices
2. Physical Complaints
Extended screen time can lead to physical discomfort:
- Headaches that seem to increase after screen use
- Complaints about eye strain or blurry vision
- Neck and shoulder pain from hunched posture
- Hand or wrist pain from repetitive movements
3. Reduced Physical Activity
Children need regular physical activity for healthy development:
- Choosing screens over outdoor play or physical activities they previously enjoyed
- Resistance to engaging in family activities that don’t involve screens
- Noticeable decrease in energy levels or physical fitness
Emotional and Behavioral Warning Signs
4. Mood Changes During and After Screen Use
Pay attention to emotional patterns related to devices:
- Irritability or anger when asked to put devices away
- Seeming anxious when separated from their phone
- Noticeable mood swings that correlate with screen usage
- Increased emotional reactivity during or after screen time
5. Withdrawal from Face-to-Face Interactions
Healthy development requires in-person social connections:
- Preferring to interact with their device instead of engaging in family conversations
- Declining opportunities for social activities with peers
- Difficulty maintaining eye contact or in-person conversation
- Using screens to avoid social situations
6. Changes in Academic Performance
Screen habits can impact learning and concentration:
- Declining grades or school performance
- Inability to focus on homework without checking devices
- Rushing through responsibilities to get back to screen activities
- Multitasking with screens while doing schoolwork
Digital Activity Warning Signs
7. Secretive Behavior Around Devices
Some degree of privacy is normal, but excessive secrecy may be concerning:
- Hiding screens when adults approach
- Strong resistance to sharing what they’re doing online
- Clearing browser history or quickly switching apps when others are nearby
- Having secret accounts or online identities
8. Time Distortion
Losing track of time online can indicate problematic use:
- Not realizing how much time has passed while using screens
- Making promises about “just 5 more minutes” that stretch into hours
- Missing meals, appointments, or other obligations due to screen use
- Staying up far later than intended because of device use
9. Prioritizing Virtual Relationships Over Real Ones
Online social connections are important, but shouldn’t replace in-person relationships:
- Seeming more emotionally invested in online friends than real-life ones
- Withdrawing from long-standing friendships in favor of online connections
- Expressing that online friends “understand them better” than family or school friends
- Showing distress when unable to check in with online communities
How to Approach Your Concerns Constructively
If you notice these warning signs, how you communicate your observations can make all the difference:
Start with Curiosity, Not Judgment
Instead of saying: “You’re always on that phone. It’s not healthy!” Try: “I’d love to understand more about what you enjoy doing online. Could you show me?”
Share Observations with Parents Respectfully
Instead of: “Your child has a screen addiction and you need to do something!” Try: “I’ve noticed Jimmy seems tired lately and mentioned he was up until midnight on his tablet. Have you noticed this too?”
Offer Support Instead of Criticism
Instead of: “In my day, we played outside and talked to real people.” Try: “I’d love to spend some screen-free time with Sophia this weekend. Maybe we could bake cookies or visit the park together?”
When to Consider Technology Solutions
Sometimes, structured guidance is needed to create healthier digital habits. This doesn’t mean eliminating technology, but rather creating boundaries that support wellbeing.
Family safety apps like OmniParent can help:
- Set reasonable time limits for device use
- Monitor which apps are being used and for how long
- Create screen-free times for meals, homework, or bedtime
- Provide insights into digital habits without invading privacy
These tools are most effective when used as part of a supportive approach, not as a replacement for communication and trust-building.
Creating a Balanced Digital Environment
As an extended family member, you can help create positive alternatives to excessive screen time:
Establish Screen-Free Zones and Times
- Designate certain areas (like the dining table) as device-free
- Create screen-free traditions during your time together
- Suggest a family-wide “digital sunset” an hour before bedtime
Model Healthy Technology Use
- Be mindful of your own screen habits when around children
- Put your own phone away during conversations and activities
- Show interest in both their digital and non-digital interests
Offer Engaging Alternatives
- Introduce hobbies and activities that showcase your unique skills
- Create special traditions that children look forward to during visits
- Find physical activities that you can enjoy together despite different energy levels
The Balanced Approach: Neither Fear Nor Ignore
The goal isn’t to eliminate technology from children’s lives – it’s a valuable tool for learning, creating, and connecting. Rather, the aim is to help them develop a healthy relationship with digital tools that enhances rather than detracts from their wellbeing.
As a grandparent or extended family member, you can be an important voice in this process – noticing patterns, offering perspective, and providing the face-to-face connection that all children need for healthy development, regardless of generation.
Concerned about balancing screen time during the hours your grandchildren are in your care? OmniParent provides simple tools that help extended family members participate in children’s digital safety. Download the free versionand become an active part of creating healthy tech habits across generations.